Grace-period

Sometimes I just have to write.  The words nag at me and won't let me focus on other projects until I tend to them.  This is one of those days.   The problem of darkness and sin has been poking at my heart lately.  It started, ironically, with a very casual discussion about PMS.  A young lady stated she didn't think there was PMS in God's original plan, in the garden of Eden.  Frankly, I had never considered the thought.  All things considered, PMS is a fairly benign annoyance in life.  Even on the days that one doesn't want to get out of bed.  I only considered the curse to be a "worsening."  Perhaps it is because I am a nurse and physiology is pretty routine in my life, but giving birth, even an easy one, could never be completely without discomfort.  Bones separate and tissue tears.  Premature births seem to cause even more discomfort.  But her words did give me pause: what is life supposed to be like...

For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. (Ephesians 5:8-10 NLT) Almost a year ago, I was in the hospital. I had been finding myself out of breath after not so strenuous exercise like walking upstairs to go to bed. I was embarrassed considering that maybe it was panic attacks so I ignored them. But it just kept happening so I finally went to the doctor who, after some tests, determined that I had multiple blood clots in my lungs, a potentially fatal condition. I was pretty calm and upbeat most of the time, but there is something about the night. Darkness changes perspective. The world is smaller, quieter, more dangerous, and it was during the night that my emotions would play with my mind. It was under the cover of darkness that fear and loneliness and grief would surface.  As a child, especially ...