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Showing posts from October, 2013

Lost again?

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I feel lost.

Again.

I mean, really?  I knew where I was going.  I thought that I was headed in the right direction.  Slammed into a wall of reorganization and change that spun me around.  Found a new path and started down it only to hit a new wall of health issues.  Looked around for a new direction and began to follow it and am now caught in a whirlpool of negativity and rejection.  Every attempt to swim out of it pulls me into a riptide of self doubt and fear.

I want out.

Where I once saw process and hope, I now see frustrations and disappointments in a hazy future.

I don't know where I am going, and I am beginning to doubt my ability to make wise decisions.

...  At church we have been studying our identity in Christ.  Pretty simple concepts really, but so hard to remember when life is battering us.  I am a saint...I am chosen...I am redeemed...I am a masterpiece... "Yes, but..." is the echo in my head. I can pretend as though this all makes sense, or I can be real a…