Showing posts from May, 2009

Scary Ride

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. Isaiah 55:8 NIV
It occurred to me, while we watched Evan Almighty with friends last night, that God really likes to mess up lives. In the movie, God said he does it because he loves his children.Ok, before you have some crazy knee jerk reaction and burn me at the stake, think about did Abraham do? This elderly man (75 year old) was told to leave his comfortable home and secure job and go-no map, no destination, just God's command. Moses? Well, this fugitive has to go back to the place where he committed a murder and deliver God's order to the leader of a nation. Jeremiah? God told him that he needn't sweat public speaking; he NEEDED to worry about what God was going to do to him if he didn't obey. Paul? He gets blinded, stoned (no, not that kind-the kind where the big rocks knock ya out and break your cheekbone), thrown out of towns, imprisoned every other week,…

Seeking shelter

In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness. Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me. Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth. Psalms 31:1-5 NIV
Last night, as I sought refuge in my God, I wrestled myself. Some sin touched home, like evil punched me in the gut, and I struggled to turn this person over to God's care. How can this happen? Why can't things change? Can God really take care of this? I had just been praying that God would reach him, but then this. Did it have to be so extreme? I suppose it always is.
Oh Father, break us gently. He doesn't know You can put him back together yet.
I want to turn him over, but I hesitate.
Dad went to the heart of it as usual. Am I good?
Of cours…

Lessons from my G-Babe

Today I am blogging with the help of Tira who is sitting on my lap. This is the first night my grand daughter spent in my home. She is a little over 2 months old, but I am in awe over how much she has grown. As always, during the wee hours of the morning, God was showing me some things about Our relationship thru the time I am spending with Tira. Here are a few:

God knows what I need and is prepared for my needs. Sounds like a no brainer, right? As I dozed beside Tira last night, I heard her become restless. Before she was fully awake, I prepared her a bottle and a diaper. Then it occurred to me, might God not do the same? If I love her this much that I want her to be taken care of, wouldn't God, my Father, do the same for me? But haven't you ever prayed really hard hoping God gets the message that this is important? I forget, as I struggle to get mine or provide for my family or prove my self sufficiency, that my Father has, at the ready, everything I need. I can depend on Him…

God's Chisel

Video so worth checking out!!! When you look in the mirror, who do YOU see? That part was so "ouch!"
Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is--that she is a sinner."Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you." "Tell me, teacher," he said. "Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?" Simon replied, …

Happy Birthday!

Birthdays are weird as I get older. I mean, I still like them, but I don't really feel older. Maybe it is because my husband is older than me. It seems like I really see the passage in time, not in myself but in my son. How did he get so old? Still, I am at least half way thru my life. So, what shall I do with the second half? The adventure begins today...will keep you posted.


There seems to be a lot of darkness around. I wish it were easy to just trust that things will turn out ok. I know that "ok" does not mean "easy" or "right" or "good" as we often perceive. My definition of "ok" is that God will handle it for the best. But what if he is busy? Are all these little things of mine important? And what about the big things, the death, the illness, the losses around me-what is he doing about that? There just doesn't seem to be much peace.
Sometimes I can get stuck there, in the immediate pain, the emotional confusion. It offends me. It feels so wrong. And maybe it is, but it is also our reality.
Things are broken here. We weren't made for this disconnect. We were made to be able to run to Dad, to find such comfort that there is no need for consolation. The sorrow and grief and brokenness of our reality should feel wrong to me. Thank God it does! Because I know there is more; this is not the whole enchil…

Real Reality TV

I don't claim to be the sharpest tool in the shed.
There are many wiser, better educated, more cutting edge people than me. I mean, geez, YOU probably have already thought about the things on my mind. Still, as I was watching the Amazing Race last night followed by the Biggest Loser then flicked thru fitness shows, goofy guys working on your house shows, and brain dead "love connection" challenges, the thought occurred to me that we are looking for more, or better, but we never find it.

What if, instead of focusing on all this fluff, we attempt to slow down and perceive what is really going on?

A woman at work got mad at me probably about a year ago. She wouldn't talk to or look at me. Upon being pulled into the office, I somehow had the presence to take a deep breath and wait for her. Her biggest complaint? Not that I wasn't doing my fair share, but a coworker was talking with me about God. The clarity about this fight, between her and me, between any of us, not b…