Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is--that she is a sinner." Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you." "Tell me, teacher," he said. "Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?" Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled." "You have judged correctly," Jesus said. Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven--for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little." Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?" Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace." For the last 2 Sundays, we have been studying this passage first from the perspective of the woman, then yesterday looking at the Pharisee. But something that was briefly glossed over was Simon talking to himself.
Simon was talking to himself, probably thinking to himself, "This guy can't be a prophet. If he were...."
Jesus, at that time, was accepting the grateful ministrations of a woman who had sinned. Her gratitude seems to tell us that she has been set free, and Jesus was her savior.
Now most of the time all we see in this exchange is that Simon is judging the woman. I admit that is all I really got as well. Yesterday, tho, I became aware of Simon judging God, his character, his wisdom, his choices. And I got a bit convicted by it.
How often have I told God what job I want, what man I want, how I want the man to change, what car, what healing, what whatever? Sure, it is right to tell Father that I need a job, but that is not what most do. We give an order, like my Christmas lists as a child when I wrote 2 pages of toys and trinkets but starred the ones I really wanted, knowing that my parents would look at those in particular. And then, just like I mentally ran thru my list Christmas morning while I opened up the presents, I wait for the specific answer I asked Father to provide.
Of course, I didn't always get what I wanted for Christmas. We were kinda poor. There were times I felt a twinge of rejection if I didn't get what I wanted. Same goes for God. When his answer is different than mine, there is this doubt that creeps up, much like Simon's questioning: If God is really there, why doesn't he do something? Why is there such suffering? Why won't he talk to us? Why won't he make things clearer? Why am I given this station when I could do more here? Why did he get the job when I had such plans for God here?
Of course, from there I turn to Job 42:1-6 where Job comes face to face with God's answer and replies,"My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you."
I cannot know what God plans, but I know that God's plans are good....and more to the point, they are GOD'S plans. I am a blip in the whole of his plans, in the whole of HIS story. He knows what he is doing with me, and I know I can trust him. Now I need to trust him with all of me. I need to allow him to work thru me, rather than me working for him. All I need is HIM.
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