This time of the year, being a witness is on my mind. I went to an Easter Musical on Saturday and I thought about the witnesses to the Resurrection-were they considered reliable sources or "just a little touched?" How does one properly witness change in their life so that others may find it a source of hope, especially with our human imperfections and struggles?
There is a couple my husband and I have befriended who are struggling with many of the same issues that we did in our early marriage and early recovery. It is actually odd to see our history played out in another couple and also grace to be able to see how far we have come together.
We know what they are going thru in a sometimes excrutiatingly painful way. We squirm in embarrassment with them. We hang our heads in shame with them. We joke nervously with them. Sometimes we are not sure what we are to do other than to walk beside them.
And in the same way, we try to spend time with them, going for breakfast or coffee in the evening or church, allowing them to see that altho we know and empathize with every thing they struggle with, we were able to forgive each other, and ourselves, and with God's help, we have been building a relationship that we never dreamed possible.
It is difficult to walk with someone when you know the answer lies on the path to the right, but in stubborn-ness, they choose to take the path to the left. Oy vey! And then I want to say, oh, I wasn't that closedminded or impulsive....LOL....and then I hear God breathing beside me and I sheepishly have to admit, yes, I was (instead of trusting God with my marriage, I bought a statue of Quan Yin, a bodhisattva who is supposed to pour out her compassion on the world-that's the bottle she holds-and helps struggling relationships...anyone wanna buy one, cheap?!). Maybe that is the biggest difference between them and us, we know God, we sense Him. Yeah, He may not speak as clearly as we would like, but we have developed this sense of Him that allows us to fight a little more fair, love a little bit harder, stay a few minutes more, give in a lot more gracefully. We aren't perfect yet, and really we aren't even looking to be, but that is the witness that we hope to bring: that God's grace can create something where there was very little to work with...that God's grace gives us hope for the future as much as it creates gratitude for the present.
I don't know what will happen to this couple. We pray for them as individuals and as a couple, that they will hear God's whispers and will embark on their own journey of faith and grace.