Sunday, May 20, 2007

Step 2

This is my favorite step, the most difficult for me, and the one I run to in times of trouble. "We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

I am the first to admit I have a pride problem. I am like a toddler-I want to do it myself! Unfortunately, what that usually means is I want to make a mess of it myself! This step has the remedy for my brand of insanity-well, and if I weren't so self centered, for a few other brands as well-A POWER GREATER THAN MYSELF.

Of course, God is a power greater than myself, but as I work with newer people, I have to remember that when I was new, God was the last person I wanted to meet. On a CD, a speaker was talking about being God-in-skin to other people. That makes a lot of sense. I can either beat people over the head with the Bible and risk turning them off, or I can be God-in-skin for them. That doesn't make me Jaime Almighty (like the movie), but it encourages me to love and have compassion and tend to others' needs as Jesus might. Jesus didn't ask people who He was before He would heal them or love them. I have been unable to think or make decisions until after I ate or slept or checked on a loved one....why should anyone else be different?

Just goes back to reflecting God into the world. I may be the only Bible a person reads-what kind of message do I want to send? God can't love you because you swear or smoke or don't go to my church (or any church) or have a job or are mean? My sense of self worth is to be based on my identity in Christ, not what the world tells me. Not everyone knows this and they are hurting and in turn, hurt others. Oh, how easily I can let the fear of being bruised as an excuse to hide! Sometimes I think God wants too much out of me. I am only human, after all. But then there is this nagging, pulling in my spirit and I come to my senses, knowing that all things are possible if God wants them to be so, knowing how blessed this rotten soul is and how ungrateful it is to try to hoard all the grace for myself.

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