Open the ears of my Heart

I have been reading Yancey's Rumors of Another World lately and it has created a new layer to my senses. I still understand the world thru the input of my 5 senses-sight, smell, taste, hearing, touch-but I am more aware of the upper and lower, the shading and tint, the here and the There. I know, intellectually (?) for me, that there exists a world beyond this physical dimension. I forget it easily tho, wrapped up in the physical world with all its demands and pressures and distractions. But when I am tuned into the spiritual realm, well, it is amazing the echo which resonates that I may not be able to distinguish naturally.

I was talking to a friend about a conference she really wanted to go to. She was so frustrated that things seemed to be working out only to crash shortly after, so she threw out one final attempt, a very reasonable one, and called for a little support. We talked about surrender and acceptance and the history of care we have experienced thru our Higher Power. When we hung up, we had concluded that whatever God wanted for us was infinitely better than what we were able to want for ourselves.

Later that day, I spoke with her after finding out that it had worked out. I jokingly said, "Geez, God really does have a thing with us surrendering to Him, huh?" And she, in all seriousness came back with, "Or maybe I just didn't give up 5 minutes before the miracle." I got quiet as I realized how that very recovering perspective no longer makes sense to me. Well, honestly, it never did because I don't know how I can say out one side of my mouth that I am powerless and then out the other talk about an act of willpower (not giving up). But now, it is a mute point-what I can do-because I am only able to do what my God allows. More to the point, I only WANT to be able to do what God allows and enables.


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