First Day of School

Ahh, the first day of school. Long pencils, stiff book spines, new erasers....I always loved the first day of school. Today, however, I had more anxiety than excitement.

What if they all know more than me? The other students have been thru at least 2 years of bible college already...2 years more than me. Yeah, they probably do know more than me!


What if I can't find my class? I did a drive-by earlier, and then I was LATE for class!!! LOL


The topic seems silly. I think of the broad scope of needs and wonder if there is relevance in the discussion of the role of women in the church? And yet, what I have learned so far really does have significance for me. Yes, much of what I have learned is from being a nerd and reading my textbook ahead of time or just watching for this topic to come up, but I have begun to see how deep it is. Perhaps it isn't so silly a topic-just an uncomfortable one.


As a child, I wanted to be in the ministry. My grandfather was a fire and brimstone preacher. I didn't want to be a nursery worker or preacher's wife. I wanted to be on the front lines for God, a preacher, a missionary, I don't know. I distinctly remember feeling like God had made a mistake when I found out that girls weren't supposed to be preachers. Exploring that has been extremely interesting.


I did this goofy quiz on spiritual gifts for fun and my gifts are evangelism and pastoral care. Apparently they forgot to ask what gender I was. Even that comment was a bit biting. Maybe this class isn't so silly after all. I keep wondering what God can use me for, but as long as I keep telling Him why He can't use me, He never will.

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