Follower or leader?

Sometimes I get hung up. I get hung up on mean people, intolerant people, injustice, stupidity, jaywalkers, marketing ad nauseum, well, that's the latest list anyway. I am sure I'll be judgemental about something else later today. You see, that is what this hang up thing is about: me making judgements.
Some might say we need to judge-judge truth in something, judge trustworthiness of a person, judge wisdom in a plan-that sort of thing. Maybe that is true, but that is not what I find I do. I don't go looking for the positive in a thing, I get hung up on the negative of a thing.
Negativity magnet. Pessimist. Brooding. There are words that I used to describe myself. But, over the years, I have been noticing that I find what I look for. If I am searching for the negative, I find it. If I am seeking beauty, I find it. So, judgement depends little on the thing one is looking at, but on the focus of the one looking.
Same thing about the company I keep, the books I read, the TV I stare at, the music I play. I can find myself on either side-the negative or the Good. A person recently reminded me of the phrase, "garbage in-garbage out." Am I compromising my spirit to try and fit in where I have no business being? Am I ignoring the Spirit in favor of man?
If I am focused on God, I seem to bump into beauty, truth, love, joy, wisdom. If I am trusting God, I know that all will work out for His good and His will and so then it is good.
At worship services, Catholics make this little gesture before the reading of the Gospel. With the right thumb one draws a tiny cross on the forehead, the lips, the heart while praying
"May Your words be in my thoughts,
on my lips, and in my heart."
I love that. If God's word were always in my thoughts, how much more clean, broad, and focused might my thinking be! If God's words were always on my lips, how much more love and kindness and truth might I utter! If God's words were always in my heart, how much calmer, joyful, compassionate, genuine might I be! Oh, Father, that I might follow Your Word and nothing else!


Diana said…
Amen, sister. I completely agree.

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