With each Sunday, it seems to get a little easier until today my mind started to inquire as to whether I was really accomplishing my goal of focusing on God more and less on these silly modern toys. Have I changed anything more than created a rote abstinence? Have I focused on God or found different ways (reading and naps) to amuse myself? I am not sure of the answer and so I will continue to chew on it as the week goes by.
This week being released from the phone and computer was not so painful, but it was tricky. I "forgot" a couple times what my intention was and started to pick up a phone or pull out the computer chair. (Yes, I am not a cool blogger lying on the couch with my laptop.) It spurred me to think about how many times I forget about God, forget to rely on Him and take back my will. I thought about how many times I forget my promise to try to live out of love...not just forget but obliterate my ideals before I even realize it. Today, I caught myself and maintained the fast. Catching myself turned me back to God, to the purpose of this fast, and that felt good. Such a silly action that I do to remember God...I suppose I should remember Him always, but I am no saint, just a goofball with a computer.