I almost said I was done with this topic, but I am sure I am not. The depth and scope of it, the purpose and the hope in it... There will be more to come at some point. But this is what I have learned.
Prayer is not about me, but about me being with God. Snickering to myself as I remember how much of this journey has been self centered in the way I have approached prayer-what do I get out of it, but instead it has become about sitting with God, seeking His will, listening for His reply. I am still not comfortable with those "quickie" prayers-"give us a safe trip home from bible study"-because I don't want to be safe, I want to be within God's will...tho I would prefer it not hurt too terribly, but I have become more willing to put my inadequacies at His feet. It may not change my pain level for the day, it may not bring the dog home, it may not keep this friend alive, but it allows me to be comforted that my dear Father is with me thru all of it.
Prayer is necessary for my well-being. It has become like breathing in that I do it unconsciously, but there is also a voluntary aspect to it. I can also tell when I haven't been praying. Everything becomes tight around me with urgency and fear. Still, I don't think this is because I haven't said my "prayers" as much as I haven't brought myself into alignment with my Father. There is the Scripture that assures us if God is for us none can be against us, but I think the crux is that we will not mind who is against us because we have the ultimate comfort, and power, in our God's love.
Prayer is not a grocery list for God, but maybe it is grocery shopping with God. I don't do well with lists. I am a dreamer. I have big dreams. I have big lists. I cannot always implement my dreams nor can I always complete my lists. But dreaming with God is so much fun! Watching how He makes things happen is always amazing! I don't want to tell God what to do. Frankly, I am not as creative as He is, let alone well sighted or whole or all sort of things (nor are you, no matter how fabulous you think you are!). It is SOOOOO much more fun to work with God than arrogantly assume He works for me. Altho this seems to echo the first point, this is more about participating in God's work than merely seeking His will.