Well today (tonight) was our first meeting for the PDL group. Frankly, I had a grumpy evening and wanted to cancel. So, I had a text ready to send cancelling the group.

I didn't send the text tho because the women who want to do this group need to know that they can trust me with the schedule...especially if they are to think about trusting God with their life. Doesn't that suck sometimes? I feel like I need to be responsible because I am like part of God's delegation to these women. They have already met lots of Pharisees that they hated, and felt hated by. But how do you not let that wear you down, the being part of God's delegation. I am tired and cranky and want to pull the cover over my head and can only pray in that quiet heart sorrow kind of way...the middle of the night stark solitude-no words, just a little sad. But I can't hide. I have to go hang with these chicks and try to be real and not just intellectual.

So I did. I ate my BLT and prayed with each bite as they warmed up with their own discussion on how they were finding the book. Then it began to hit-"I am good with God until all this talk of Jesus." "I can't believe there is a hell. Hell is sort of here. Maybe you just go to another dimension when you die, not even heaven." "I don't agree with you [one woman speaking of another] when you say that trusting in Jesus you get to heaven. What about all the Muslim and the 3rd world countries and the atheists."

We talked about grace, how God reveals Himself, OT prophesy, what Jesus said about Himself, how God calls us to Himself. We talked about eastern philosophy and how Buddha was a man, not a god. We talked about the Bible. We talked about religion versus relationship. I had to shut them down after 1 1/2 hours because I was tired and needed to go to work in the morning.

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