Backbone?

I recently started seeing a chiropractor for my back pain. Altho I had huge misgivings before, at this point I figured what was the worst he could do? To which I would nervously quip that I could end up paralyzed, get a better parking space, and ride around in a scooter with flames airbrushed on it.

My fear had definitely caused me to hold back but I had never been to a chiropractor because I watched other family members seek them out for relief and nothing really seemed to change. What was the point? Until I reached that place of needing relief with nothing to lose.

So, on my first appointment I stepped into this odd hippie/new age office. You were asked to slip off your shoes and leave them at the door. Strong aromatherapy or incense filled my nose. The drone of monks chanting both calmed and startled me. What was I doing? This guy was recommended by someone I trusted...I thought I trusted anyway.

Looking around the office I found Ganesh, Buddha, Quan Yin figures. Of course, there were a few crosses and Yoda thrown in to confuse me further. What was this all about?

Meeting the doctor, Keith seems pretty normal. He likes dogs, believes in the effects of nutrition on health, wears glasses. I asked him, "Are you guys Buddhists or something?" before I knew what happened. (Those who know me also know I have not been filtering my thoughts quite as well before they become utterances of variable politeness.)

Dr. Keith laughed and replied it was a bit new age-y but that they were not close to being Buddhists. As the exam went on, the wheel of world religions with the smaller wheel of denominations spun in my head. By the end of this visit, I figured the opposite of Buddhist would be Southern Baptist. Fortunately, the filter had come on and that thought never escaped my lips.

On a visit the next week tho, Dr. Keith asked me what I had been doing that day. Without my filter I honestly replied, "Writing, mostly on my blog." And it is here that the story really begins...

"What do you blog about?" he asked with an interested tone.

What do I blog about? I gave him my usual answer of "grace" (duh) and "God" and "church." But I found I stumbled telling him about it. I don't do that too much anymore, but I found myself almost...embarrassed.

"Like what?" he probed.

He had told me that he was "spiritual" and perhaps included a twinge of agnosticism. I have been in that kind of space and remember what I thought of believers-stupid sheep, faithful to a fantasy, deluded and sometimes demented. He didn't act like that at all tho and seemed interested to see what I was thinking/writing but I had already withdrawn.

I hadn't been so dramatic as to deny Jesus, but what did I do?

I find it fairly easy, when led, to follow the Spirit's prompting to let others know a little about what I believe and where I have been. It isn't always easy like there is no effort, but it is easier as in if I eat this I will be sicker than a dog all night vomiting and I don't want to feel that bad so I am going to choose to not do it.

I choose, because it is right, and also because facing the Spirit after I ignore it feels a lot worse than worrying about what people think of me.

Can't say this was a big Spirit driven moment, but it was an opportunity-and one I missed. It is just interesting to me how I consciously felt awkward and shrunk myself down. It would be much easier to give out a business card and say "Come visit sometime."