I have been judgemental and slanderous. I have picked apart teachers and people in authority and fed that negativity to others. Instead of trusting in Dad's goodness and timing, I attempted to create safety for myself by plotting world domination, or at least devising back up plans in case things do not go my way.
I confess this and am sorry with my whole heart, not just because I fear the loss of heaven, not just because I have hurt others or allowed fear to twist my heart, but most of all because it hurts my Father. I ask His forgiveness, as well as yours, and with His help, I resolve to love more and talk less.
Ok, so that was a little silly, but true nonetheless. Lately I have been thinking about Christians and what it means to be a follower of Christ. I spend a lot of time learning, reading. I do this because I desire to be closer to God, but I also know lying in the shadows of my heart is this insidious piece of pride which studies so that I can be "right."
I have made fun of Rick Warren, and I can't say I was inspired by the Purpose Driven Life. I still question Joel Osteen's cheesy smile. Any televangelist asking for a "donation" makes my spidey sense tingle. People feeling "called" to leave my church still give me heartburn, and the changes in leadership right now make me a little faint of heart. And that is just my "Christian" issues.
So I go back to the question, what makes us Christian? Is it just attending church most Sundays or having our name on the roster? Is it having the "right" theology? The Jesus is my Homeboy bumper sticker? The coolest church service or name?
Jesus tells us this tho, "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:35 ESV)
Sure, sometimes love needs to help someone correct a wrong, but love doesn't usually do it by picking the person apart or hitting them on the head with a big stick. Love enters in, walks with them, waits on them, persists. God does this for us.
I am not planning on perfection today, but I am resolving to pray for the people who irk me instead of talk about them. I will rest in God's goodness and wait impatiently (not perfection, remember) on His timing. I know that His plan is better than my schemes, and I know that He can make things turn out for our good whereas I usually create messes.
Now, can someone help me up?