Monday, July 20, 2009

Monday Morning QB

Yesterday we started a series entitled, Embracing the Mysterious God, by looking at God's triune nature.


It started out a little dry for me. My mind wandered. Was it because it was our week to watch the video feed or because I grew up making the sign of the Cross...In the name of the Father, I touch my forehead, in the name of the Son, my fingertips tap my chest, in the name of the Holy, over to the left shoulder, Spirit, right shoulder, Amen...or because I had already transcribed the bulletin's notes to my personal notebook? It doesn't really matter. I was missing the point anyway.

God's 3 Persons/1 Essence, His triune nature, makes Him a community.

I am not a community, altho there are sometimes enough voices in my head that I begin to wonder.

Can you even picture it: three unique persons with such deep admiration and trust in each other that they submit to each other, are mutually dependent on each other, and honor each other without fear? A community of Love that spilt out creation, that pursues us, that loves us back to Itself, that delights when we participate in Love.

I have trouble imagining this dance of God's, and it makes me honestly look at whether I do community "well." I do not trust easily. One of my favorite quotes is "Trust God, love people." I don't like being dependent on people. I don't even call my best friend during a crisis if it is after 9pm. I text her so that in the morning she will read the email into which I poured my heart. There are times I have had difficulty celebrating someone else because a sinister voice in my head whispers things like, "Why do they deserve it more than [whoever or even me]?"

I don't want to be so fearful and self-centered. I don't want to need to keep people at a distance for fear that I might lose them or lose myself in them. I don't want to be so guarded that I cannot let people love me. So I repent, and seek Him, seeking His love to teach me to love.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit...amen.

2 comments:

Becky said...

and remember a seeking heart HE never denies....

keep that heart open friend...He's gotcha....thanks for being an encourager to me...thank you so very much.

Anonymous said...

"Trust God and Love people"
I am going to use that saying. The mantra I have used is " Humans will always let us down but God doesn't".
I am so afraid to trust again someday in a male - female relationship after letting my walls down, and getting hurt. I had peace that it was not meant to be or in God's plan but that little girl inside who still wants to trust humans to give me what God only can is in there still seeking that one human who I can trust.
Thanks for sharing and the time and effort you put into the words you type out. I am Sitting home with the committee up in my head taking me way way out of my day and God!!!

hugs, Chris Z.