I have been thinking a lot about God's calling lately.

You may think I am crazy, but I feel him urging me, calling to me, but I don't know what He wants. I attempt to intellectualize it: these are my gifts-how can I use them? I attempt to ignore it: He can talk to my husband. I try to fill in the blanks like I do when people are speaking too slow for me or I think I know where they are going.

What if He is just letting me know that I am His?

I have a lilac crowned Amazon named Sangria. We call to each other sometimes. She is just checking to see where I am and I am letting her know that I am close by.

Could it be that simple?

I know for His Word that God wants me to live rightly, loving justice, being merciful, and walking with Him. Living out those ideas leaves me reliant on His grace. I love the friendless. I feed the hungry. I give hope to those in darkness. I stand for justice in a selfish world. I read His Word, study His Word. I follow my Shepherd's call.

I don't need to go anywhere to do those things. One needn't leave the country to answer a "call." In fact, I think it is more difficult to do at home, when my husband wants me to make supper but I am tired of taking care of people, my child needs someone to listen for what feels like the 15th time to the same story when I want to yell make some changes or stay stuck, or when everyone is listening to gossip at work but breaking it up might make me look prissy in front of my coworkers.

It's easier to be nice to people when I am prepared for it, when they are the center of my attention rather than when they are just interjected into my already busy day. (How did Jesus do it?! Sure, He was both man and God, but can only God suffer our neediness?)

My answers, as always, may change tomorrow, but this is the place I am resting for today, and Dad seems ok with it, too.


Becky said…
This is an intriguing post especially considering where hubs and I find ourselves right now....thanks for more thots to add to my pot of confusion...simple sometimes proves to be the most difficult to follow....:)

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