Grace-period

Sunday was Valentine's Day, and everyone was talking about their sweetheart, or lack thereof. I have been lucky enough to be married to a handsome and dear man for 19 years now, but it wasn't until we began to learn about God's love that I started to truly appreciate him. Our marriage was challenging from the beginning. I was young. He was angry. I became bossy. He became angrier. We were set to self-destruct and barely survived, thanks only to our stubbornness. Neither one would leave the house in the possession of the other. I chuckle now when I think of the fights we had trying to force, beg, or cajole the other to leave. Finally, unable to endure the pain we were inflicting on each other, God got a hold of us. I cannot speak for my husband, but I know I had gotten to a place of helplessness and hopelessness. I didn't know how to leave, but I really didn't know how to stay, either.  I had been hurt, but really the worst of it was how much I had hurt him....

I am, left to my own abilities, rather lacking in grace.  My mother used to joke that she didn't know why they allowed me to work night shift because I am rather clumsy and awkward.  At the chiropractor's, I had to get on one of those balancing board...well, one is supposed to balance on them and develop your core muscle structure and all that good stuff.  I fell right off, rather embarrassed.  Just not good at balance.  But I suspect it is mostly because I am not good with the tension required to balance. On that silly board, with the bottom rounded, the slightest movement causes a shift to this side which results in an attempt to compensate. Well, let's just say my attempts to compensate tend to end up as excessive and with my butt on the ground.  And that is not unlike my challenge to resist overcompensating in other areas of my life, outside of the chiropractor's office. We live in this "already but not yet" place.  I am restored, tho not...