I cocked my head to the side asking, "Really?!" Sure, for a boy his age, a pizza buffet might very well be his idea of heaven, but it didn't stop there.
"Well, I could use a lot of money, too, then I could own the place and everyone could serve me," he added.
His sister wasn't going to let him get away with that, tho, "Ummm, isn't that a little backwards? Aren't we supposed to be serving God?"
"Oh, well, yeah," he rebounded with ease, "the people can serve me AND God!"
I laughed, but he caught me, "So what's YOUR idea of heaven?"
*silence, maybe a cricket chirped*
Fortunately for me, a glass got spilled, and I was off the hook. The conversation hasn't left me tho. I suppose it seems like a pretty easy question, but it has been tugging on me since.
I don't know enough dead people to desire to be reunited. I didn't want to get into a theological debate with a bunch of challenging kids over whether my dogs and birds and bunnies and rat are waiting for me. I am not convinced of the mansions I envisioned in a child's literal mind. But I believe it will be good. And here would be the thing that dogged me.
Life has been really good in the past several years. Things that were askew have been straightened, messes have been cleaned up, and relationships built. We are on the right track.
But, how much I do love the comfortable, the safe, the love, the abundance! Isn't that the American dream? I don't need to get to heaven to find those things. I have them. With a little more therapy, I can have the perfect marriage. With a little more time, I could have a cute little house. With a little more effort, I can have better health. With a little more energy, I could have...
When I get past all the things I can do, when I come to the end of me, this is what I find that my heart yearns for heaven to be like:
I want to really know God.
I know the Spirit lives in each believer and all that, but isn't it exciting to read that Adam walked in the garden with God? Wouldn't that be amazing, to have a lunch date with Jesus?
And as much as I desire it, it is also what makes me run back to hide in my comfortable life. It scares me. Kind of like when you are meeting a guy for the first time and you walk past him with your girl friends to make sure he isn't too gruesome and then you are scared to go back because he is cute. Oh, is that just me again?
You may see what I show you, but God has seen it all, been with me thru it all. Sometimes the thought makes me want to run, but to where? There is no where but him. I want to be brave, but I am not. Fortunately, unlike the guy in the lobby, I know God already loves me; I just need to believe it.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
(Psalm 63:3 NIV)