Year In Review

Everyone seems to say this has been a rough year.  I think this has been a blessed year: losing my job, starting smoking, getting a new job, struggling with decisions, loving an imperfect husband poorly, quitting smoking, looking at myself more honestly in the mirror...

All of these things have seemed so hard, too hard, at one point or another, but they have given me blessings that I don't know if I would have received any other way.

When I lost my job, I was blasted with this awareness of being cared for by God.  He played hide and seek (I swear He loves that game!) and left gifts that knocked me over with His goodness and providence. 

There have been times during this year that it has been "one day at a time" or just 12 hours at a time, particularly with the smoking. I have also been blessed with some of the most amazing friends a girl could ask for, if she even knew who to ask for!  Again, an example of God putting people in my life that I may not have chosen but also didn't know that I would need their particular brand of love.

Lastly, I have the absolute privilege of growing!  Growing is painful and awkward and often messy.  My pride prefers when I can pick something up easily, but my spirit soars when I am able to do something unnatural.  Over the years, I have heard people talk about practicing principles and I took that to mean that they live by that principle.  This year, I am not so sure that is what it is supposed to mean.

I would like to say I am an honest person, but when I am in a disagreement with my husband and it would be easier to throw a tantrum than face things with truth, I see my dishonest edge creep up.  When I am feeling good about having some freedom from something another person struggles with, I am not humble.  In both situations, I have been learning to PRACTICE being honest when it scares me or humble when it means I understand that I have only been given a reprieve from that struggle, and that by the grace of God alone-not by me!

I love the opportunities I have to grow today.  I love the journeys with God.  And I love all of you who walk with me, more than you even know!

Comments

Ann Kroeker said…
Certainly honest reflection like this will help with personal, deep, spiritual growth. Thank you for sharing your journey so openly here--you encourage it in your readers!
December 19, 2010 at 8:44 PM
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