Thursday, April 7, 2011

Closed For Business


I have been taking a break...from a lot of my life. 

It is easy to become overwhelmed with the daily treadmill of life, you know-work to run home and, well, work so that you can fight to get to sleep so you can get up and start all over again.  This seems to be particularly true with all our technology that is supposed to help us stay connected, even when we should probably disconnect, at least once in a while.  (Maybe that weekly Sabbath that God suggested????)

Feeling emptied by my run on the treadmill, I decided to stop, to take a break, to close shop for a little.  I changed my routine activities and some relationships.  To be honest, I needed to face up to the fact that I wasn't much good to anyone constantly running on empty but distracted by the buzz of a schedule to keep and constant chattering of people around me.

Sometimes the quiet is unsettling.  I want to be distracted from my reality, the unfinished business I have been working on, or the sinister snickering somewhere in the back of my head.

But, I know that it is ok.  I need to take some time to re-evaluate, renew, replenish, rediscover me.  And, in some weird way, stepping back has also given me the space to re-evaluate, renew, replenish and rediscover Him.  Not that I had forgotten or lost Him; I found that my passion had dulled.  Somehow, my relationship to Him became skewed, affected by my frustration at myself.  At times it seems hard to trust God, the Father or the Brother, when our human family is so hurtful.  Of course, in "weller" moments, the Father and the Brother give me reassurance that I do have a family.

And, God reassures me now, that He will walk with me.  He will soften my heart, bind my wounds, and call me daughter as He pulls me closer to Him.

It will all be made right when it is time.

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