“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls..." Matthew 11:28-29 NIV
Jesus spoke these words, and many have taken them to heart over the centuries. I have been hearing them lately, but no rest arrives. I wait in the knowing that God is good and that all awful things may be turned into positive blessings, as has been the instance many time in my life, but I am tired. Even my waiting is filled with anxiety. My heart is sad. My spirit shifts uneasy. Sleep is fitful. Wakeful hours are only somewhat distracting. Always this thorn of discomfort. I read these words and want to shout, "Pick me! I want rest!" But I haven't any idea how to rest these knots in my gut. Tears flow when the day has worn on me too long, too hard. It feels like there is no rest for me. One foot in front of the other, I trudge along. I berate myself, "Let go. It will pass if you let it. You are being stupid," but this voice causes the tension only to increase. I am tired, Jesus. I am sad and alone, but while I don't know what to do with myself, I am intolerant and easily annoyable. Come, help me rest.