Fitting In?

I remember being different for a very long time.  As a little girl, my mother said I was different because I was artistic, that I felt things more intently than others.  My father said that our family is just never able to settle, that we always feel restless.

Is that what this is?

I am a do-er.  If I am learning about something, I want to learn how to apply it.  If there is no practical application for something, there doesn't seem to be any reason to waste my time on it. 

As I learn, I am discontent.  I want to do more.  I want to move.  I want to do now.

I don't fit in.

Instead, I twist and reframe and refocus to find a nicer way of dressing up this passionate discontent.  But there isn't any.  Just awkwardness.  I should learn to cook.  Or refinish furniture. 

I don't fit in.  Gangliness of a spiritual adolescence perhaps.  Restlessness of a nomad.  Emotionality of an artist.

Peace is found in knowing that nothing surprises You.  Peace is knowing that You are the God of my past, present, and future.  Peace is knowing that You use me, cracks & imperfections, when it is time.  Peace is know that this is not my forever home.  Peace is You.

I don't fit in many places, but I fit in with You.


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