I woke up this morning thinking about wayward sheep. Probably because my dear Gabby was acting a bit cantankerous last night wanting to get into things that weren't for her. You know, pups gotta test limits. So do people. I can't believe it would just be me...
It seemed like the only way, that way I was headed. It seemed like the right direction, that path that I took. Then the bottom fell out in my world, and I wanted to fall into that crack in the earth to die.
Now, I know that the Bible says that God doesn't hear the prayers of the wicked (that's what this says) and God says that a man's prayers may be affected by the way he treats his wife (here). Good thing that I never asked for God's help, huh? But, I am convinced, that I have little to do with salvation because he has been chasing me, long before I wanted to listen.
C. S. Lewis is supposed to have said, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world”I think perhaps there is something to that. When I found out that I was pregnant in high school, the Shepherd's crook wrapped around my throat, but I slipped away. When my son was hurt, that Shepherd nabbed me again, but He didn't hold onto me lest I break my neck. My marriage was crumbling, and the Shepherd grabbed hold, again. This time, perhaps my neck was fatter or I was more tired from running, but I couldn't escape the crook.
Maybe God can't hear the prayers of those far from him because....they don't pray.
It is comforting to know that God was a part of my journey, even when we weren't on speaking terms. I may still have the marks of a crook around my neck. He doesn't seem to want to let me go. And while I do pray for others to find his crook, I also know that my Shepherd is relentless in seeking out and protecting his flock.
My absolute favorite Shepherd picture.
“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming,
he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it.
The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.
“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.
John 10:11-16 NIV