What to Do?

We are doing a series at Hope on choices.  You can catch up here if you want since I have not been keeping up with the Armchair QB lately

In our series, we have talked about those cool moments when God says "go and..."
"Ananias, go meet up with Saul who is expecting you.  Oh, yeah, that's the one,
the crazy fanatic who has been killing Christians."
"Peter, go eat dinner with that Cornelius. Yeah, he is a gentile. So?"

Along the way, well, actually through out my life, there has been this question, "What does God want out of me?"  Not in this begrudging sense of giving my 10% if I haaave too, but a deep desire to participate in what God is doing, his rescue-his passion to heal and mend our brokenness.  I wanted to do great things for God, like St Francis or Mother Teresa or Father Damien.  I knew God was calling me to something, but the direction was less clear.

In my childlike faith, I called out as Samuel (1 Samuel 3:10), "Speak, for your servant is listening," but then the Voice would fade.  Naive, I replied as Isaiah (Isaiah 6:8) "Here I am, Lord. Send me," but there was no response. Thankfully, I believe now, since I have actually READ the book of Isaiah .  It just never seemed to make sense.  I wanted to pick up my burden, my death to self.  I wanted to give God my everything.  I just couldn't figure out how.  Since I was married with dogs, running off to a 3rd world country seemed out.  I couldn't very well give up everything I owned, either, since my husband owned at least part of it, too.

So what is someone who loves God supposed to do?  What is God's will for my life???

I started with one of my husband's favorites:

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8
What does it look like to be just, what does loving mercy mean, and what is a humble journey with God?
My life is framed by these words.  It is colored in by the love of God who rescued me, igniting my life with his Spirit.  I realized Sunday, that all my seeking is being fulfilled.  My life is not my own anymore.  And the realization was joyous.
It is not easy to know how to live among the mess that is our humanity.  I do my best to listen to God, and I turn around when I screw up.  When I have trouble hearing his voice over the needs of the hurting, I wonder if that is because the hurting are the least of these.  Their voice is his.  The concern is that I answer properly-honoring their journey while lessening their suffering as able.
My dear husband knows that he has a shepherd on his hands, who will bring home stray and broken sheep to love and restore.  While that may sound noble, the shepherds that were spoken of in the Bible weren't the cool heroes.  They were the runts, the leftovers, the widows who had nothing better to do.  I may never do the great things I had hoped as a child, but I will do the small and obvious as well as I can for my dear Father's fame.


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