Seasons

It is often easier to plan a path than to walk it. Sure, some seasons are easy. The brisk autumn air energizes me to take the pups on hikes in the woods. But then there are seasons that can be more challenging. 

In the summer heat and humidity, walking is exhausting and breathing becomes labored quickly. Winters in the 90s were known for Some significant snow storms.  One blizzard I had been snowed in at work for a week. When I finally had the opportunity to leave, I had to walk home after being dropped off at a nearby road because most roads were closed. I trudged through hip high snow, slowly and steadily, trying to keep my focus on my front door a half mile away.

And that is how it feels lately.

A friend dies suddenly. Other friends make choices that not only cause them to step out of my life but puts their lives in imminent danger. My own life was in danger this summer, and I continue to recover from that adventure. 

As life continues to batter away and my heart is heavy, my breath quickens because everything within me wants to scream that this is not the way it is supposed to be.

But it is completely the way it is. 

What am I supposed to do in these moments? 

Where is my door? 

Look, I don't have the answers and that stinks. But the flip side of this is that I am not alone. Many are trudging though their  own season of pain, and many have already arrived at their door. 

Not being alone is an incredible gift.

So when the words of my prayers get caught in my throat, I rest in knowing God is near. When the world is upside down, I sit with friends for a cup of coffee. When anxiety closes in, I seek refuge in the Psalms. 

With each step, I turn my face to the Door and remember, this too shall pass and I am grateful for each step that brings me closer.