Whose Am I Again?

I am watching TV this morning.  Still sick and a bit lazy.  My throat hurts and when I swallow it feels like I am swallowing a chip whole, that grating, tearing sensation that makes one wince.  Naturally, I don't want to get out of bed.  So I watch TV.  One commercial, which annoys me every time that I see it, is that shingles is the worst pain ever and, gasp, because I have had chicken pox, I have the virus in me already!


Apparently not.  However, I have known quite a few people with "The Shingles" who miraculously, though with some discomfort, continued to lead normal lives.  But certainly, I will be on the look out for painful blisters that occur over night.

But those aren't the only things that I need to watch out for:

I should be on the look out for procrastination and "Just do it."

I should worry about how the weather will interefere with my television programming and not become a dish head.

I need to find the secret to melting away abdominal fat.

I need to not miss the latest, and short running, theater performance.

I need to dress for success.

I need to find out the truth about Obamacare, Islam, lobbyists, NRA, Illuminati, Mormon, social security and aliens.

I need to eat well, fear GMOs, and preferably just chill with an iced coffee.

Any medication my doctor may prescribe could cause seizures or death.

For all the bashing we take from media on TV, social media sites, bulletin boards, newspapers, phone apps....it is a wonder that we can get anything done at all!  We should be petrified to get out of bed because inevitably we will make the wrong choice because we went to the wrong school, haven't installed that app yet, or find ourselves in the wrong demographic.

Why do we live in such fear?

Is it as simple as not knowing who we are?

If I know who I am, generally I know my purpose, my path.  I don't need to get distracted by all the razzle dazzle on the periphery.  

But I do because my identity gets fuzzy when work isn't going well, when people don't value my ideas, when the house has a funny smell to it that reminds me I need to do dishes, when the pain in my body breaks through in tears of resignation, when I choose to not say or do something because I am not fully confident, when the mirror accuses me of defiling God's temple....

Days like today, when sickness and pain and major illness and losses are piling on each other to tell me what a waste of a life I have been, I need to remember Whose I am. Not how others define me or success or beauty or the roles of wife, mother, nurse....

For those individuals on the commercial, "the shingles" is the worst pain. For me, it is misplacing who I am in light of who He is.


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