Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Who am I?


There is this saying:


I want to be the person my DOG thinks I am.


I always thought it was cute. We have had dogs for most of my life, so I was already aware that dogs loved their people more than we deserve. It didn't matter how long I had been away. It didn't matter if I had the "good" treats. It didn't matter if I was sick and my hair was all ratty. It didn't matter if my heart was broken and tears and snot smeared their fur. Dogs just love us. Sometimes it seems like they can see deeper, into who we really are.
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I was looking at this little quote earlier in the day, and I kept seeing GOD. I want to deserve all the love and attention of my pups, sure, but the person I want to please most is God. And even as I write those words, all the millions of ways I fall short creep into my consciousness-the angry words spoken hastily that sting, the lack of faith in those uncertain moments, the chickening out when I am put on the spot, the money squirreled away for my rainy day, the resentment that holds my heart captive...all these and more, so, so many more. But this is who I am, in my most honest self. Despite that, God pursues me, loves me, vies for my attention, forgives me, sees something in me that I cannot yet see.
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I would like to be the person my dog thinks I am, but even more so, I want to become the woman God sees.

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