I didn't sleep well last night. I kept waking up, wanting to write. Those nights are annoying, particularly when I am working 12 hours the next day so I have no business getting out of bed to write. But here is the thing that kept bugging me...what if God is calling us not to greatness, but to smallness?
Yeah, weird thing to keep a person awake, huh?
Our group that went to the Leadership Summit are praying for ways that we can put what we learned into practice. Look around your neighborhood-there is so much need. Look around your coworkers-enough need to depress you. Look around the world-so much need it can paralyze.
And then I think about this thing with callings...
What if it isn't about being called to a thing, but to be like Him? What if it doesn't matter where I am or what I do but how I do it? What if His only desire is for me to respond to this broken world as He does? Right where I am?
Jesus stopped to love the kids, he held up important people to talk to a woman, he noticed a man who climbed a tree, and he washed his friends feet. He could have overthrown the Romans, restored Israel, and set the world right.
What if we started acting like Jesus? Instead of thinking we are called to huge plans, huge buildings, huge job titles, we let Him call us out of who we are. I let Him call me out of the insecure, prideful person I am, and hear the call to be gentle, loving, humble? Can I do that? I know He can effect that change in me...I have so much evidence of all He has changed in my life.
What if my idea of success changes from my income and my retirement plan to how many people who don't know Jesus could really connect with me? To how many people I had the opportunity to love or care for or guide? To how many people I was privileged to introduce to my Father?
I admit it, I have more questions than answers. I am just processing this myself. I don't know if this is where I need to be going or if this is some justification for not going around the world to work in some jungle village with big bugs and horrible humidity. But if we all did that, who would reach out to my neighbors and my coworkers?
Just trying to answer the call.