I think Chris Z was trying to spur me on to blog when she sent me an email with a list of questions she was planning to meditate on this week.

So, I figured we could maybe use them as conversation starters here, or just to hear myself type, whichever happens.

Question 1-What has God taught me from failure?

Have I failed? Oh yeah, in being the perfect (okay sometimes in just being the good) wife, in being a pleasant employee, in being a gracious follower of Christ...okay, I don't want to think further than that and get depressed before work. Just going to work today feels depressing.

But in this God has taught me about humility-I am not supposed to be perfect or carry the world on my shoulders. I am a creation of God, not God. When I am humble, I remember this. When I am full of pride and ego, I forget. To me, being humble is being authentically and honestly who I am, nothing more or less.

God has also taught me to lean into Him. I have a lot of junk, a lot of relationships, a lot of ideas and dreams. Sometimes they grow to be more desirable than spending time with Him and rather than trusting Him, I trust me. Yeah, I know, idolatry, but I promise, it doesn't last long because I try to share everything with Dad. Anyway, when my idols are smashed and I realize what a nincompoop I was, I lean into Him more-first in repentance seeking grace and then because I begin to remember this is where I am most fully alive. Of course I forget...just like those dang Israelites, but I am working on it.

Finally, God has taught me that I am not lovable based on what I do and achieve. That is ok but can interfere with humility and trusting God. I am lovable because my Father loves me. He chose me. He gifted me. He graced me.

What about your answer?


Anonymous said…
Your awesome Jaime :-)I am still pondering and have tommorrow off and will share my ponderings!!! ((big hug)) Chris Zzz
Jaime said…
You are a goober! God is awesome. I was thinking about the grandbaby's ultrasound and the Psalm that talks about how he knit us together in our mothers' wombs. That is freaking amazing.
Anonymous said…
Gober huh :-) lol

Thanks for sharing and for taking me up on my challenge. I love being able to read your blog and share Christ with you. Remember way back when it wasn't easy for us to talk about our Dad. :-)Congrats on your baby girl. Your going to love buying all that girly stuff.
Anonymous said…
What I have learned about Those Life Lessons. (yikes)

Lesson's won't go away until they are learned. We can move,duck, run or escape by doing something else, but the lessons will still follow us around until the pain of learning is replaced by the willingness to grow.

Also that I can't just put that graduation certificate into my drawer and not pull it out again.
that I would be challenged again and again to pull it out. To use that skill, awakening value, or discipline for the rest of my life.

I really just wanted to check those lessons off on a my master list ( organized, perfectionist freak that i am) and be done with it forever!!! :-)

I have grown soooooooo much the last few years. I sometimes feel like I am tired of being here and tired of living this life and sooooooo tired of needing toI am learning to review repeat those things that i feel like i should be done with by now. Feeling and expressing my anger, letting go off those things that I don'/t want to ( mostly those special people in my life I want to keep forever)

So as I pull out those certificates and remember how I got where I am today. I want to include God, my father and recognize his loving hand and to remember that he is the one with that master plan. I am not in control of the lesson plan. He will bring what I need to me.

He will give me the tools, the opportunities and not more than I can handle.

I just need to show up and pay attention, pray for wisdom and forge ahead!!!

This verse is in one of my mediation books it reminds me to let go and to move ahead.

"Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press on towards the goal" (Phil 3:13)

Thanks for letting me share. I am pondering about pondering and this all I have. I am getting out my journal today, asking for God's wisdom and grace.

In Him,

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