So, a reader emailed me to say they were in a bad space and didn't want to mess up the blog, LOL... This is a picture of me. Ok, the pearls are whack, and my hair is a bit darker, and-just imagine the picture of me to the right in the same pose!
Grace makes it ok to be messy. Relationships, if we are real, are messy. With a mysterious God, with grumpy spouses, with goofy teenagers, with our own frustrating hearts. Grace is about letting the outside match the inside. If I am feeling crazy, it is ok to be a little crazy...but then I need (this is for me) to accept God's offer of grace and surrender to His care.
Have you read my blog? I have fought with God, small group members, friends, God, husband, kid, God, work...I haven't been following Christ except by grace-from the beginning and for now.
Left to my own, I curse out my husband, cry over my son, take control of everything, blame God...that is all before lunch. Now, I have another option. I can get honest with the godly friends that have been placed in my life, confess how screwed up I am, and make changes (repent).
And, yeah, doing all that right at this moment. Terry and I are squabbling. It has turned into a knock down, drag out, pull in everything from the past, 2 day event-so far. I can tell you he is being a jerk, is closed minded and not listening, yelling, not being fair...yeah, well, he is. But so am I. Because Terry is generally a good guy and altho I am considering murder (divorce is a sin LOL), I am trying to learn how to not be the jerk I am. Of course, I am hoping he becomes less jerky too, but I have no control over him. I have emailed and talked to a married couple who we are friends with (since frankly, I know very few married couples who are really in decent relationships) and was pointed out a few things. Things that I need to confess. Places I am being a jerk. Places where my heart is hardening. Places where I am not letting God do His thing. Places where I am being a jerk (didn't want to forget that I am not the good one in this fight).
Pharisees didn't understand Jesus' grace. They were appalled by it. They were so worried about looking good on the outside that they forgot that God could see their hearts. They forgot that they were lifeless dust without the breath of God.
I don't want to forget that. So post away...not just dump the problem, but what are you doing with it, where is God nudging you, where is grace overwhelming you.