Arrogance

  
 
There is a certain arrogance to many Christians, don't ya think?  Or, it could be my arrogance talking.  I know.  Here is the thing, we sing to God, "Break my heart for what breaks yours," but then we never consider-what if I am one of the things that breaks God's heart?
I know, thinking of one's self is seen to be...well, self centered.  Especially when there is a world to save, right?  And, perhaps it is, but if I am a mess, what good will I bring?  Unless I have actually found bread, will I be able to tell the next beggar where to find it? 
 
I am certainly not wagging my finger at anyone.  Just thinking out loud.  A small group of my friends meet to discuss a book on Thursday evenings, and we were talking tonite about the lies that we believe about ourselves.  The hellcat has been tormenting me lately.  Not that I have been as verbally violent as I feel, but I am freaked out by this hellcat, whose purring I hear as surely as the Tell Tale Heart.  I feel like a failure.  I chide myself, silently, until today, when I let friends know how much I hate this part of me, how much this twists my perception of myself.  I know that this breaks my Father's heart, but why doesn't this break mine?  It occurs to me that maybe it is because it is already broken and needs mending, but I think it is more that it has become calloused.  My heart doesn't always believe that better is really possible, that redemption, more than I have already experienced, is probable or even should be wasted on me. 
 
While this may not break my heart, I know it breaks my Father's!
 
 
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks Yours
 
~Hosanna, by Hillsong United


 
 
 
 
 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Christ in His Distressing Disguise

Image
When I was much younger, I learned about this remarkable woman, Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, then simply known as Mother Teresa. As a teenager herself, she had chosen to serve God by leaving her home in the former Yugoslavia to go practically around the world to India and become a nun. There she taught school, but she was distracted by the poor on the streets. Longing to care for them, she needed to be released from her teaching duties. Eventually a new religious order, the Missionaries of Charity, was formed by Mother Teresa to serve them, the poorest of the poor. I wonder today what attracted me to her. I didn't know much about India. The pictures of the suffering, the cachetic bodies that barely resembled humans, puzzled me. Growing up with movies and air brushed photographs, as well as a skepticism of news and government organizations, it can be hard to believe. How can there be such incredible suffering in my world? Mother Teresa was doing God's work; I know that was exciti
Read more

Blog Carnival-Seasons

Image
It was all so much simpler in my spring.  I suppose it is for everyone.  That is why babies and puppies and newness are squealed over.  I have been struggling.  Spring has long gone.  The leaves are falling. I loved what I had, what once defined me. Without it now, I feel like a crab without a shell-              vulnerable...                            homeless...                                           dry in spirit. I know, that all is not lost. I know, things change. I know, that God,              who brought me from there to there once,              will bring me from here to there again. I know, the story is not over. I know, the season will change, again. I wish my heart knew all this as well. Check out more blog entries on Seasons at the Carnival .
Read more

Blog Carnival: Community

Image
Blog Carnival: Community Community is getting to be a buzzword that hardly seems recognizable.  It has become permanently connected with a metrosexual worship leader at the hip church which has an outreach into some impoverished place.  But is that community? Yesterday I wrote about Facebook's social networking site.  Did you know that there are more than 300 million active users and that 50% of their active users (returned to the site in the last 30 days) log on to Facebook in any given day and that the average user has 130 friends on the site? Is that community? Do we really have a community or do we talk so much about it and request friends by the busload because we desire it intensely? We were made for community.  Creator said it was not good for that first man to be alone.  Even Creator was not alone.  We need to walk with others.  We need our village.  We need them to not only walk with us and love us and share our burdens, but to challenge us, to force us to grow.
Read more