Grace-period

I was watching Sports Center this morning with my husband and one of the clips showed a player entering the end zone giving props to God. I think that is interesting. Kind of weird for a game, but then I thought, "Shouldn't we be giving props to God for all our touchdowns?" What are my touchdowns? Of course, there was a new baby born into our family this week: touchdown with lots of prayers, before, during, after, and since. That one is obvious, but what about in my job, since I am not a professional football player? Do I give props to God for an accurate assessment that catches a problem? What about being able to offer support and spiritual guidance? I admit I forget. I don't just forget, I forget to give the credit to Whom it is due. Somewhere it gets twisted in my brain, lost in the hustle of life, and I begin to think that I am that amazing, that I have an awesome set of skills. Of course, where did I get those skills, those instincts, those gifts? Notre Dame...

Cheesy baby...undercooked? Dad cutting cord Daddy's little girl First family photo Crib card Sneaking a peek Grand-mom holding her little one

I seek refuge. My heart is twisting and lurching. My spirit wretching. My feet do not feel solid ground beneath them. Crumpled in a heap, a whisper escapes me, "Father." I seek refuge. The future is uncertain and casts a shadow on the present. Knowing there is only One constant, "Father."

Hmmm, what is this that so many people I know feel called to ministry? Is it the circles that I keep? Is it God trying to tell me something? (Or do I just keep hoping?) My husband growls, "If everyone is preaching, who is working to pay the bills?" I know I have ranted about this before, but I believe that every Christian is called to ministry, to serve the Kingdom, to evangelize, to disciple. Abdicating this responsibility is to downplay your salvation. If you have gained nothing, you have nothing to share. Fine. But if you have been saved from death, if you have been rescued from churning seas, would you not want to share your story? Would you not want to prevent others from the same tragedies? Maybe it is just me, but once God gets a hold of you, well, you just aren't the same person. And once God gets a hold of you, you shouldn't have the same life, internally or externally. Not that everyone is called to preach, but each of us are called to become par...

Oy vey. What do you get when you bring together a bunch of women leaders? Hilarity! These chicks are wild women. We are in Virginia for the Eastern District Women in Ministry Conference. The conversation on the ride down travelled from women in the pastorate to medieval saints to basketball brackets. (My husband does the brackets. The only game I watch is football and my friend's kid's games so please don't ask me anything about basketball.) Will we come up with any answers today? Only to seek God.... So as I was drifting off to sleep in this unfamiliar hotel bed, I was praying and the movie the Matrix came to mind. Have you seen it? I have been told that some Christians are offended by the profanity. It is worth it. Anyway, Orpheus, a John the Baptist kind of character, has found the One they had been looking for to save them, Neo. Neo, however, was just a moment ago a plain old guy working in a cubicle and so he remains unconvinced. He is taken to the Oracl...

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. I love this verse, because it was a light bulb moment for me on what this whole Jesus thing was...not rules, regimens, rituals...not practices and dogmas, just freedom. For the first time in a very long time I was freed. I was freed to follow Christ, not because I had to, but because there was no where else I wanted to be then. I understood that the rules didn't, couldn't, bring me closer to Jesus, but that when I came closer to Jesus, some of those old behaviors (like smoking, profanity, bickering with my husband) started to fall away and I desired to be obedient, not defiantly obeyed what I "had" to. And, as if all that wasn't enough, I had the option to never go back to that old way of life...I could remain free.

My husband was driving today, and I was humming a worship song from earlier this morning when it occurred to me. The God I worship and talk with and long to see is the freaking God of the Universe, the Creator of EVERYTHING, the Sustainer of EVERYTHING, the Infinite, the Redeemer, the first Lover. Isn't that just astounding?! That same amazing God wants me...to love me, protect me, to know me, to be my Love! I am His daughter, the daughter of the Creator. And then I think about how I whine, "Where is He?" I want Him to hang out like He is my dog, just for me, for my pleasure. How selfish and presumptuous! Ugh! Self-centeredness creeps in so silently that I don't even see how I am no longer serving God, but expecting Him to serve me...

So, I was hanging out in Facebook this morning and one of my friends likes this blog Dust of the Ground so I decided to check it out. Found this very cool video clip so I thought I would just link you to his blog to see it. It is astounding how easily we fall into feeling entitled and lose awe. We take things for granted and want more, more, more. Worse, we often do that with the people in our lives.

Baby Tira (pronounced Tiera-don't ask) is breech right now so a c-section date has been set for March 23, 2009 at 1:30pm. Well, that is if my already headstrong grand daughter doesn't decide to do something goofy and make my schedule MORE difficult.

My husband's small group is reading Ecclesiastes, but it is the changes in my own life that make me think of the seasons. I am about to become a grandmother. That is weird, but exciting all at once. The kids are goofy, unprepared, and have messy lives. Is that how we all are when we have our first child? It makes me feel so old to watch them. For the record, tho, I am NOT that old. People my age are still having babies. But we are done. There is a finality and sadness with that ending. Of course, I knew it had ended a long time ago, but with the coming birth of my grandbaby, I feel it heavier than usual. I was not a good mother. I watch these amazing women around me today, and I wish I could turn back time. I love my son deeply and it hurts sometimes to think that I did not help him become the man he should be. He is exactly like the father he did not know, the one who left him. Odd that nurturing didn't change more of the nature. I did the best I could and I su...

This seems like a reflective picture....I need some reflection time. I haven't been writing much because I have been exhausted with my schedule and because I have been self centered. Amazingly, many people around me are also feeling like there is too much to do and too few hours to do it in. I am reminded that since God created the day and its hours, the problem would not be with time but with all the stuff we try and cram into it. I need to work and chores. I want to spend some time online, writing and being nosy on facebook. I crave time with my friends, on the phone or best if in person. I need to spend time with sponsees. I want to curl up on the sofa and read. I fall asleep. Shoulda, woulda, coulda land. Good, better, best. I hear all these snappy little things to help me be a better time manager, but I could manage my time better if I had more of it.... I know, I have all the time I need. Whatever. And then along with the chiropractor, I have been doing this adrenal diet thin...

Well, there has been no birth yet, but at the doctor's yesterday, Tiersa was told the baby is breech. They are planning to try to turn the baby Friday. The kids are nervous, as am I really tho I try to be calm for them. Tira is just starting off cantankerous, just like her parents. :-) In good news, the kids got an apartment! It isn't some Barbie dream house, but it is a quaint, very interesting place. I can't wait to go shopping! Things are coming together slowly. I just keep praying for God's guidance for those two (soon to be three).

Although we have been married nearly 18 years, we have not walked with the Lord all of that time. In fact, it wasn’t until a few years ago when my husband threatened divorce if we did not go to church. He knew that something was missing. I was so comfortable stepping around the hole that I didn’t even notice it anymore. He found a church, he began to attend regularly, and I reluctantly, stubbornly, followed. Since that time, we have learned what an amazing marriage counselor Jesus is. We have both developed relationships with Christ. We have had godly, loving couples around us modeling marriage and helping us through some rough patches. And, as we have continued to grow, we both looked forward to the Focus on the Family conference “Seeing your marriage through the eyes of God” February 28th. The seminar was a live simulcast of a program from Colorado Springs. Over 400 people, people married months, years and decades, gathered in the sanctuary that gray Saturday morning to listen to man...